


Initiation

by Vampowerment



Series: (it's love) [2]
Category: The LEGO Batman Movie (2017)
Genre: Everyone loves Robin, Gen, Multi, batman rogues - Freeform, impromptu therapy sessions, it's Robin's time to shine, it's a sequel to a batjokes fic but they aren't in this at all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-20 21:15:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10670919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vampowerment/pseuds/Vampowerment
Summary: Now that Joker and Batman are totally a thing, it's time for Robin to get initiated with Gotham's Villains....which is not nearly as scary as he might have expected.





	Initiation

**Author's Note:**

> hello again

Holy moly, Robin was going out of his mind with excitement. He pulls at the edges of his cape anxiously and reaches for the doorbell. The door swings open the second it started to ring, and before he can even say hello, Harley gives him a big hug. 

“‘sabout time!” She exclaims, setting him down. 

“Oh! Was I late? I can’t drive very fast yet because I don’t have my license.” And he doesn’t drive a car, of course, but the Robin moped is VERY PRACTICAL, though very slow.

“Oh, no, silly! It’s nothing your fault, you’re doing great and I love you. I mean, those two lovebirds have been together for a whole week and we’re only just now getting you initiated! Where was my scheduling?” She clicks her tongue and shakes her head. “Now, let’s getcha inside.” She gently drags him through the door and gracefully slams it behind her. 

“I know it’s no Wayne Manor, but it’s got it’s charm.” She says cheerfully, gesturing to the interior of what appears to be an abandoned toy factory filled with lots of homely clutter (lots of clutter…) and some green and purple furniture. “The black’n’red is all in my room, but J did mosta the recoverin’ so I don’t have a leg ta stand on decor wise.”

“It’s amazing!” Robin gasps. 

“Pretty good, huh? I think this part’s my favorite.” She says, darting behind a room divider. “There’s costumes back here!” She steps back out, this time blonde with a fake mustache. 

Robin nearly jumps out of his skin. “Can I?” He whispers through a huge excited smile. 

“Knock yaself out, kid.” Harley says with a laugh. Robin runs over to the divider, seeing a huge chest of props and stray costumes, a costume rack, and a big mirror. 

“Oh my gosh!” 

“Pretty sweet, huh?” Harley grins, leaning against the wall wearing a giant purple hat.

“Holy ice cream is it sweet!” Robin kneels down to look through the trunk.

“That barely made any sense but it was great.” Harley giggles and sticks a gold star to Robin’s costume. “Why’d you wear your whole costume here, anyway? It’s cute but seems like such a formality.” Today she was wearing low, loose pigtails, a big red sweater with a big black heart in the center and quite a few holes, and black mildly ripped up leggings.  

“I don’t know, I guess I feel very Robin right now?” Robin says, looking up with a big pair of pink glasses on over his normal glasses. “Like, I know you know I’m Richard Grayson, but right now I don’t feel like I’m Dick, I feel like I’m Robin, if that makes any sense?” He shrugs and the pink glasses fall off his face.

“Honey, I’m a psychiatrist and my best friend is the Joker, you make sense.” Harley straightens her mustache and pulls on a doctor’s coat. “Got some feelings you need sorted? I gotchu covered.”

“But don’t you have something else planned?”

“Eh, the thing with the rogues can wait a bit, your feelings come first and if you’re livin’ with  _ Batman _ , then you don’t have the best role model for sortin’ em all out. Lay it on me, kiddo.”

“Well…” Robin fidgeted a little, folding up the pink glasses in his lap. “I guess that couldn’t hurt…”

“Heck yeah!” Harley pulled out a much more serious pair of glasses from the chest, putting them on. “So tell me,” She pulls a clipboard out of her pocket, “What’s it like living with Batman?”

“AMAZING! Like, first I was all alone, and now I have my dad Bruce Wayne, the ultimate orphan, and I’m also Robin and have my dad Batman and now Batman has Joker who’s like my stepdad--or maybe since I’m adopted he’s just also my dad?--and then I have you who’s like my cool aunt and I have Alfred who’s like a cool grandpa and it’s so… Amazing!” 

Harley scribbles down furiously, nodding. “So, would you say that Bruce Wayne and Batman are separate fatherly figures to you?”

“Well… I guess so. First I didn’t know they were the same, for like, weeks! Even when I met Batman I didn’t know he was Bruce Wayne!”

“So, you viewed them as separate people for so long that once it was revealed that they were the same person, you still viewed him as two people?”

“Yeah… I guess so…”

“And with Batman you’re Robin and with Bruce Wayne you’re Dick so that causes you to view yourself as two different people?”

“Well, it’s not like I think of myself as two people. It’s just… Sometimes I’m Robin and sometimes I’m Dick?” Robin explains, picking a boa out of the bin and wrapping it around himself.

“Yeah, that makes sense.” Harley sits down cross legged and takes the blonde wig off. “Breachin’ my doctor persona here for a moment, whoops.” She throws the wig at a wig head, and it miraculously lands correctly. “Do you know my backstory-slash-alterego-slash-realname?”

“Vaguely?”

“Aighty then. So, I’m Dr. Harleen Quinzel, former psychiatrist for Arkham Asylum, where I happened to try and figure out J-man. I dunno why no one else seemed to understand his deal, cause we connected  _ instantly _ . Lots’a gossip about B-man. He asked me to bust him out and partner up after a week's worth of consultations, and I agreed cause it sounded fun. I gave myself a lil’ makeover, busted him out, and we’ve been besties ever since.” Harley smiles fondly and pulls an old costume piece out of the chest. It’s a familiar jester hat that she hugs to her chest. “So, now that that junk’s outta the way, back to psychiatry. I kinda view Harleen as a different person than me. I look back at her goin’ through all that rough kid stuff and all that rough college stuff and I see a different girl from the bomb slingin’ powerhouse I am today.”

“Well, you’ve been Harley all the time for a while, right?”

“Yeah. Sometimes I’ll be Harleen for a little bit but I’m not much for livin’ a double life. That might be part of it, but I think it’s more like what you were sayin. Like, you don’t feel like two different people but you feel like Dick and Robin are two different people, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So I think that’s the answer.” Harley flips the paper on her clipboard back, and Robin sees a stick figure with pigtails that has arrows pointing to it that say ‘SO COOL!’ and ‘HOT TAMALE’ instead of actual notes.  “Case closed!”

“So, now initiation?” Robin asks. 

“Now initiation, and yes you can wear the boa!”

Apparently, ‘initiation’ is code for ‘laser tag arcade and pizza.’ 

Harley blindfolded Robin so he wouldn’t know where they were going, he was honestly very nervous about ‘initiation’ being code for something nefarious! Batdad seems very happy with Joker right now and Harley is a lot of fun, but who knows what the other rogues could be like! It’s not like Robin hadn’t met them before, he  _ is _ Batman’s sidekick after all, and despite Batdad’s thing with Joker they do still fight crime, but Robin hasn’t met Riddler outside of hostage situations or even met Catwoman outside of extravagant robberies! 

Harley sang along to the cheesy pop songs on the radio the whole way there (she sang “Call Me Maybe” with more passion than Robin thought possible) so it wasn’t the most nerve wracking drive, aside from Harley’s impulsive driving--which is responsible and tame in comparison to Batdad’s--but he was still shaking when Harley got him out of the car. 

“I swear it’s nothing scary, kiddo.” She had said reassuringly when she noticed his anxiety. “The scariest part is Riddler’s fashion sense. He’s going through his spandex phase. Oh, Eddie, we’ve all been there.”

The building that smelled like burnt popcorn, pizza, and bubblegum, and when Harley finally took off his blindfold he was surrounded by bright carpet, villains, and a neon sign that said ‘GOTHAM FAMILY FUN LASER TAG ARCADE FAMILY FUN ZONE.’

“Sorry we’re late, my fault.” Harley explained to the crowd. “Now who’s ready to have some FAMILY FUN!” 

Croc cheers the loudest in response, and Penguin hands him a gun, which Harley immediately confiscated and flicks into safety, chastising him because “Ozzie, you shouldn’t give the kid a real gun! You shouldn’t have brought a real gun, what were you thinking!”

Robin feels right at home.

They soon split up into teams, the red team vs the blue team, and Harley immediately claims him for the red team. The red team consists of Harley, Robin, Ivy, Catwoman, and Killer Croc. The blue team consists of Penguin, Two-Face, Riddler, and Scarecrow. 

“We use to invite Deadshot, and he used to be on my team because he’s my friend, but everyone decided that wasn’t fair so now Deadshot’s only invited to bowling night. Skate night is my favorite, but I not everyone likes that one as much because I guess skating isn’t something everyone’s good at. I used to do roller derby a few years ago! Anyway, Laser Tag is the group favorite so I thought that hey, now that you’re part of the family it’s time for some family fun, right? So here we are!” Harley further explained that Clayface used to do laser tag too but he had a hard time staying in a humanoid form long enough to properly wear the vest and no one liked him looking like their teammate when he wasn’t their teammate, and essentially the entire history of the rogues at The Gotham Family Fun Laser Tag Arcade Family Fun Zone. 

Catwoman gave him some basic stealth strategy, Croc gave him his own more impulsive guns blazing approach, Ivy explained that it’s important to guard the base and strategize everything, and Harley told him to just have fun. Robin had a hard time focussing on strategy with his adrenaline rush. He got his vest situated, and an overhead speaker crackled on. It droned through the rules really quick, Harley saying them along with the speaker in a silly voice, before finally saying “Okay, kids! Remember, stay safe and have fun!” as the door automatically opened, and a countdown began.

5

“Hands in!” Harley says, thrusting her hand forward. The others put their hands forward as well, Robin finally putting his on top.

4

“Repeat after me: We are smart, we are beautiful, and we’ll kick their butts!”

3

“We are smart, we are beautiful,”

2

“And we’ll kick their butts!”

1

Everyone throws their hands in the air and runs into the arena cheering. 

“I’ll take up defense first.” Ivy says, planting herself by the red base. “Croc and Harley, charge them from opposite sides. Catwoman, you sneak your way up there and get a good vantage point to take down their base. Robin, what do you want to do?”

“Uhh… I’ve… never played laser tag before?” He says sheepishly.

“Then you gotta get in on that action!” Harley exclaims “Head over with Selina, she’ll give you the lowdown, and you’re with bats so you can do great stealth, right?”

“I can do my best!”

“Great! Now, Croc old friend, let’s get ‘em!” And with that, Harley runs off with Croc not far behind her. 

“Follow my lead.” Catwoman says before doing an unnecessary front flip and running from wall to wall. Robin quickly follows, with an unnecessary front flip of his own, and gosh darn it he gets into it. He sneaks around corners that don’t require sneaking, he rolls from cover to cover when there is no need for rolling, and he hums an action tune under his breath the whole time. 

Catwoman freezes as she hears footsteps nearby, and quickly gestures to Robin to indicate a change of course. She climbs on top of one of the short walls, above eyeshot of anyone below. Robin hurriedly follows and sees Two-Face sneaking around the wall their above. Catwoman turns to Robin, and gestures at Two-Face as if to say “do you want to get him?” 

Robin’s answer to that question is YES so he draws his laser tag gun, jumps down from the wall shooting at Two-Face’s vest the whole time, and says “Face the--uh--my laser tag gun, Two-Face!”

“You need to work on your one liners, kid.” Two-Face grumbles as the blue light on his vest flashes and it starts to repeat ‘return to base’ in a robotic voice. 

“Oh, give him a break, Harv, he got you good.” Catwoman purrs as she jumps down from the wall next to Robin and ruffles his hair. 

“Yeah, yeah.” Two-Face says as he turns around and heads back to base.

Robin runs up to the next wall and jumps on top of it, jumping from wall to wall until he comes across Scarecrow, who he guns down before Scarecrow has a chance to react. “You don’t scare all birds, scare _ crow _ !” 

Scarecrow looks down at his blinking blue vest and then back at Robin. “A bird pun? Really?”

“You’re one to talk,  _ Crane. _ ” Catwoman says with a laugh from somewhere out of sight. 

Scarecrow shrugs and turns back towards base, like his vest suggests with its chants of  _ return to base return to base. _

Robin jumps back up to his vantage point and keeps on moving. After a bit, Harley skips past laughing while her vest chants  _ return to base _ . Soon after, things start to get louder. Croc seems like he’s doing ok, considering he’s still standing--although he might have returned to base and come back already, much quieter than Harley--and Penguin has one arm on his base and the other on his laser tag gun, which totally seems like cheating! Eventually, he manages to get Croc, who turns and leaves. 

No one else is at the blue base, which is worrying because that means they have to all be fighting back at the red base or something, but also very good because it means all they have to do is take down Penguin!

“I can get him to chase me,” Catwoman says quietly, “Then, you can get the base. It’ll take some effort to take down, but I can buy you time.”

“You can count on me!” Robin whispers back. Everything’s riding on him! He can do this!!!

Catwoman moves to another spot and jumps to the ground with an unnecessary backflip. She creeps around the walls, making sure her vest is not exposed, and peers over at the base. She raises her laser tag gun, and gets one good shot in before Penguin sees her and starts firing.

“Oh, I’m sooo scared you’ll hit me.” Catwoman purrs and keeps shooting the base. 

“Yeah, you better be scared!” And just as Penguin finishes his sentence, Catwoman hits his vest. 

“Oops.”

Penguin’s vest only flashes for a second before it recharges, but he’s still mad. “My death count was so low!” He yells.

“Really? Mine’s zero.” Catwoman says with a laugh, shooting him again. 

“I’ll change that!” Penguin yells as his vest flashes briefly and he takes off towards Catwoman, who takes off running.

Robin, as soon as Penguin is far enough away, rapid fires on the base. It seems like barely any time before the announcement sounds “ _ BLUE BASE IS UNDER ATTACK _ ” and suddenly, Robin hears an ocean of footsteps and soon he isn’t alone anymore. 

_ Return to base. Return to base. _ His vest flashes red and chants, and he looks down and sees Riddler’s gun pointed at him. 

“We lost Robin!” Harley exclaims, while shooting Riddler. “Fly little bird fly!”

Robin does just that. Well, not really  _ fly _ but he runs really fast! He tags back in at base, says hi to Ivy, and runs right back as fast as his little legs will carry him!

He manages to hop up to his vantage point without getting seen and shoots at the base for a solid amount of time before he gets shot again. He tags back to base and runs back again, this time passing Catwoman on the way, and makes it back in time to hear Harley, with her vest telling her to go back to base, yell “THERE’S ONLY ONE MORE SHOT ‘TIL VICTORY! LET ROBIN GET IT!”

Croc lowers his weapon, a shot from Scarecrow making his vest flash red. Catwoman runs over just behind him. “Take the shot, kiddo.”

Robin raises his laser tag gun, aims, closes one eye and sticks his tongue out in concentration, and fires.

_ “GAME OVER, RED TEAM WINS! GAME OVER, RED TEAM WINS!” _ The monotone voice sounds almost like it’s cheering. Despite the fact it… honestly isn’t cheering, his whole team is!!! Harley gives Croc a big hug and then runs over to give him a hug, with Catwoman beating her to it, and soon it’s a big group hug with the whole team, Ivy running over too, with everyone cheering and congratulating each other. 

They make it back out to hang up their vests, and their scores get printed out for them. Harley has a… rather high deathcount, and the highest hitcount goes to Riddler, but the red base did the best overall. Ivy surprisingly has a  _ zero _ deathcount and the second highest hitcount, and everyone else is in the middle. Robin has a two deathcount, a three hitcount, and the most basepoints, so that’s pretty good! 

He’s given a few tickets for his efforts, and then everybody grabs a table and gets some pizza. The Gotham Family Fun Laser Tag Arcade Family Fun Zone doesn’t have the  _ best _ pizza in the world, but Robin’s having too much fun to care! Everyone still seems really nice, and like they really like him, despite the fact he’s put all of them in jail at least once! 

It’s not just that everyone likes Robin--which he didn’t expect and is very surprised by!--but everyone seems to like each other too. Harley is of course friends with everyone, but even Penguin seems like he’s enjoying everyone’s company. 

“So, how was laser tag?” Harley asks, slinging her arm around Ivy. 

“Golly, it was so much fun!” Robin exclaims. “I was sneaking around up above everyone and dropping down on everyone like ‘pew pew pew’ and I felt like  _ Batman! _ Except for the pewpewpew stuff. No batguns allowed! It’s more like… What do batarangs sound like? Pschew? No that still sounds like a gun…”

“What’s  _ THAT _ like?” Riddler asks. 

“Batarangs?” Robin scrunches his eyebrows together.

“No, living with bats.” Riddler laughs. “What’s that like? Does he just mope all the time?”

“Well, sometimes he eats lobster thermidor.” Everyone laughs at that, which makes Robin’s heart swell. 

“It’s a wonder he and Joker were so compatible.” Harley says with a sigh.

“Well, they’re both obnoxious to be around, so it makes sense to me!” Penguin pipes in.

“Ey! Don’t say that about J-man, he’s fragile!” Harley exclaims. 

“Don’t defend him too much, daffodil.” Ivy says softly. Harley leans her head against Ivy and doesn’t say anymore.

“And Batdad isn’t obnoxious! He adopted me! He’s so nice and kind and he tries his best and--” Robin trails off with a frown. They might like him, but he doesn’t think any of them really like his dad.

“Hey, no need to get upset, I know he means a lot to you, and he really is a good person.” Catwoman says softly, rubbing Robin’s back. “It’s ok.”

“T-thank you.” Robin didn’t realize he started crying. 

“No need, I know Bruce very well and he means a lot to me too.”

Robin gasps. “Wait, how do you know his name--”

“Oh, that’s ancient history, but, really, are you feeling better?” 

“Y-yeah. I’m fine.” Robin wipes his tears with his cape and smiles at Catwoman. 

He turns back to the table and takes a big bite of his pizza, ignoring the pitying looks everyone’s shooting him. 

They all play arcade games for a while--Robin finds out he’s really good at skee ball and Croc managed to get him a big stuffed duck from the claw machine--and then cash in their tickets for prizes. Robin gets a green sticky hand, some candy, and a rainbow slinky. He remarked about wanting the giant stuffed frog that cost 500 tickets, and then had to talk Two-Face down from stealing it for him.

Before long, Harley was driving him back to the warehouse to get his RobinBike (patent pending) so he could drive back home before it started to get dark. 

He pulled up in the Batcave around 6:30 to see Batdad sitting in his computer chair. 

“Where were you?” Batdad asks without turning around. 

“Oh! Did I forget to tell you? Harley took me to hang out with Ivy and Catwoman and Croc and Riddler and Penguin and Two-Face!”

“ _ WHAT?!” _

**Author's Note:**

> I felt like writing more in this universe and this thing just kinda ran away from me.  
> Original plan was for there to be more actual Batjokes, and for there to be more Hivy, but then it just kind of became Robin Time for Robin ft Catwoman and Harley, and I just kinda rolled with it. Maybe there's more to come? No promises, but who knows.


End file.
